just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
foreskin is a definite game changer
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
