yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
