O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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