ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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