At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
