So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found puke in my bra..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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