im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize