gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
