Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
