Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
