90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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