uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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