Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
