I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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