I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
