the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
