I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
