But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
