There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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