new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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