The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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