You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
