I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
