they need to just BURY HIM!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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