I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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