p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
