jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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