At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
