What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize