if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My dick has a subreddit
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
