I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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