I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
