Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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