She said her name was "party"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
