I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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