I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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