we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
