i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
