i barfeds in our rink
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
