Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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