i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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