Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
