I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
