I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
