All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
