She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
