The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
