Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
