Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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