Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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