your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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