ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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