i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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