I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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