Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
