I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
