Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
