I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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