someone owes me an orgasm
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
