I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
