I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
how does that bad decision feel?
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