there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
